Hatred of the Full Moon
by SilverAkita
Summary: [Sure, he’d always had crazy ideas, but he wasn’t stupid enough to ever try them. They were just common conversation starters for him.] My take of Shisui's death. Fic in 1st person by Itachi's point of view. Rated T for violence and character death.


**This oneshot is basically my version of Shisui's death. This idea came to me in a dream, and I found it really creepy. So I just had to write it.**

**I apologize in advance if Itachi seems OOC, but it wouldn't have worked as effectively...**

**Disclaimer: I do not own _Naruto_ or any of it's characters. Only two characters in this fic are by my creation.**

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The moon was full that first night. The first night he tried to end his life permanently. Which otherwise would've been a strange phrase. When ever has a person's life ended without it being permanent? Suffering is a strange thing. At least, that's what I figured when Shisui tried to stab himself that night. 

But I was there to stop him. I held out my hand and grabbed his wrists; stopping his murdering-enticed hand. It was then Shisui gave me a glare I've never seen before. So many emotions were enveloped into it. Parden the overused phrase, but if looks could kill, I wouldn't be here. An Uchiha's glare is intense, even for another of the Clan.

After his attempted suicide is when we stopped hanging out. As the weeks passed, we never talked to each other and hardly ever had eye contact. When we did, it was an uncomfortable stare into each other's soul. I truly believed that Shisui wanted me to give in and accept both their fates. But I'm not the kind of person to give into peer pressure. Besides, he wasn't a peer anymore. He was just another tool like all the other ANBU.

My father had noticed our separation, and not in a good way. Since I wasn't wasting time with the old, adventurous Shisui anymore, _Father_ decided to help me train – while he completely ignored Sasuke. Sasuke took that quite hard. He became more silent, kinda like me. I thought it just a phase, but then Sasuke entered my room one night.

"Aniki, are you mad?" He had asked.

"… At what?" I then replied.

"A friend?" Sasuke's voice was almost a whisper.

"What gave you that impression?"

"Well, Shisui said you-" Sasuke never finished his sentence, for I icily left the room and gave Sasuke such a cold shoulder that he avoided me for a long while.

And now, here I am. Just sitting on a lonely dock overlooking a lonely lake on a lonely night. The moon is full tonight, but it isn't very bright. In fact, I was glad for that. I don't want anyone to find me here.

I dozed off for a little while just listening to the waves ripple against the shore and the wooden dock. The nice, relaxed sounds would've made anyone fall asleep, including me. Just as I was half-asleep, a splash near the dock fully awakened me and I quickly turn my head to the noise. My eyes widened at a human-like figure splashing under the waves, obviously drowning.

I quickly ran to them without caring about the scratches the bushes gave me. As I reached the shore, the person disappeared into the dark water, and I took a split-second to decide where to jump to save them. As I jumped in, I was glad that I was right. I felt the light softness of a shirt and pulled on it roughly until both of us reached the surface. As the other person coughed out water, they kicked me in the shin and tried pulling away.

I gasped when I realized it was Shisui.

"Shisui? What are you doing drowning in the lake?" I held onto his arm so he couldn't get away.

"I thought I was alone…" Shisui raised his voice, "What the hell were you doing saving me? I almost pulled it off!"

"What, suicide? I already told you it was a stupid idea!" I was angry now that my earlier talk with him nearly a month ago didn't help at all. "Just because your parents died half a year ago, that's make it okay for you to die by killing yourself?!"

"Like you're the one to give me a lecture. You have never lost a family member! You don't know what it's like!" Shisui spat.

I pushed Shisui roughly through the water, now feeling a little guilty, but still angry, "Maybe not. But if you should die, you should at least do it honorably. What would your friends think if your cold, lifeless body was suddenly fished out of the lake?"

Shisui turned away, "Hmph! I have no friends."

I let go of his shirt, "You've changed…"

I then swam back to the shore, not caring what happened to Shisui then. Even if we had broke ties before, part of me still kind of hoped that the old Shisui would come back and we would be best friends again. No, more than best friends. We would be brothers again. Only not blood-related, but Clan related.

With each step I took away from the lake and from Shisui, I felt a nagging pain like I was forgetting something. Something important… But what?

When I finally reached my house, I quietly entered without a sound and glanced at the calendar as I passed through the kitchen to grab a snack. I paused, turned and stared at the calendar for a good long time before it hit me: Shisui waited until his 18th birthday to try to kill himself!

"Idiot. He should enjoy becoming an adult." I whispered to myself before biting into an apple and heading for my room. I finished my apple as I stared out the window; half hoping that Shisui (like the old days) would come gracefully into my window – a big grin on his face – and ask me to go on another raid into random house to steal some of their clothes and lay the garments in random places around the village.

Those were good times. But then Shisui's parents had a mission to a country far off somewhere and got ambushed by rogue ninja. Shisui took it pretty hard and never smiled since their funeral.

I sighed as I lowered myself into my bed.

"Everything will be alright tomorrow…" I reassured myself and closed my eyes until sleep finally took over.

But I was wrong. Ultimately wrong. Shisui did drown, but differently than what I expected. When I got the news from the other ANBU they said that they had evidence of Shisui being assaulted by the cuts on his body and a giant gash on his head that fractured his skull. His limbs were also bound together by rope before being thrown into the lake to drown. That was a feat no one could pull off on their own as suicide.

I was devastated. If only I had stayed with him longer; if only the moon was brighter; if only Shisui was able to fight them off; if only, if only…

At his funeral, I refused to talk to anyone. I refused to do anything really except try to get over the guilt I had. Perhaps Shisui did change back to his old self, but only long enough to get himself killed. He wasn't the most popular person in the Clan, which lead to questions as to why so many people showed up to the funeral. Were some of them sad they weren't better friends? Or were just relived it was Shisui and not themselves?

I didn't know. What I did know was that I was going to murder someone. In fact, I was ready to murder the next person that touched me. So when a hand pulled at my pants, I curled my hand into a fist. But before I made a move, I noticed it was Sasuke and he was crying.

"I'm sorry Aniki." He said through sobs.

"Sorry? For what?" I asked.

"I saw him." Sasuke looked away.

"Him? Who are you talking about? Shisui?" I lowered down to his eye level as Sasuke shook his head.

"No. I saw the guy that pushed Shisui into the water." Sasuke started trembling.

A jolt in my brain snapped at my emotions. I pulled Sasuke into a back room and said in a slight harsh tone, "Why didn't you tell me this sooner? Who was it?!"

Sasuke rubbed his eyes, "Sorry… But last night, I thought… Thought it was you that got pushed into the lake. A-And I really didn't see who it was since it was dark out…"

I nodded, understanding Sasuke's explanation. It was pretty dark out last night.

"But why were you out there in the first place?" I asked softly.

Sasuke hesitated, "I… I was following you to ask you a question, and I got lost for a bit until I saw you on the dock. But then you suddenly ran off and I lost you again. After I ran through the woods a little more, I saw two guys on the dock and one of them pushed the other off. I thought it was you because of the dark hair…"

I thought back to Shisui's hair. It was indeed nearly the same color as mine, but both of our heads must've seemed pitch black in the dark.

I placed a hand on Sasuke's shoulder, "Okay. I'll try to find out who it was. You just try to stop crying and feeling guilty, okay?"

Sasuke nodded and we left the room. Sasuke headed to our mother while I looked out into the crowd to stare at the faces of the people in the room. The murderer had to be here. They would want to see how the death affected everyone else.

When I glimpsed at Jiro Uchiha, a man slightly older than Shisui himself, the guy appeared tense and preoccupied. That peeked my interest.

I calmly stepped to the other side of the room without getting his attention. When I was close enough to touch him, I stood in my place and stared at him for a bit. Some odd color had caught my eye: a pale crimson mark on his collar bone.

I cocked my head innocently and tapped Jiro's shoulder. The man jumped and turned my way.

"Itachi?" He said dumbly.

"That's me." I blinked slowly.

"Uh… What do you want?" He shifted on his feet.

"Nothing much. I'm kinda bored…" I pretended to notice the red mark, "What's that from?" I pointed to it.

Jiro pulled his hand to cover the redness, "… I don't know."

"It looks like blood."

"I fell."

"You fell?"

Jiro waved his arms in the air. "Yes! Stop it with the questioning!"

"Okay. I just noticed you seemed pretty jumpy and stuff." I had a theory of him being the murderer. Jiro grew stiff and turned away. I sighed and stared at the wall for a long time.

After what was probably ten minutes, I felt a hand on my shoulder. I twisted around to see it was Jiro's hand.

"Yes?" I said while shrugging off his touch.

"Want to go for a walk?" The guy asked.

Well this was different. Not to mention the stories I've heard about many of Konoha shinobis' sexuality. "Uh… Not as a date, right?"

Jiro looked shocked. "What? - No! I meant for a place for us to talk alone." His voice lowered at the end of the sentence and he narrowed his eyes.

I shrugged, giving into his game. I silently followed the older Uchiha outside and Jiro peered around coldly. Then he started down the path again and toward the lake. I rolled my eyes. Maybe it was true the suspects always returned to the scene of the crime.

When Jiro reached the dock, I forbade myself from stepping on it.

Jiro looked up at me, "What's wrong?"

I sighed; like **I** would answer him. I could make a whole _list_ of things that were wrong.

"Can't we talk on stable ground?" I asked expressionlessly.

Jiro seemed to take this into account. "… You don't trust the dock?"

I folded my arms. "I don't trust…" I then frowned as I glared at him, "You."

Jiro blinked, "Why?"

"Why not?"

"That doesn't answer my question…"

"Just get to the point of this 'walk.'" I sighed and let my arms fall to my sides.

"Shisui's death… I don't believe it was intended."

'Not intended'? I rolled my eyes, "No. Clearly someone went to all that trouble. It had to be intentional."

Jiro sighed and turned away from me, "_You_ know how dark it was last night. So dark that most people had problems finding their homes and people couldn't even enjoy an evening walk."

I thought back to Sasuke's story and nodded slowly.

"So someone else was supposed to get murdered." I stated.

Jrio nodded, "I know… It was supposed to have been you, Itachi."

Wow. I didn't know someone hated me _that_ much.

A breeze picked up and I stared out past the dock. What Jiro said made sense. I was on the dock before, when the murderer must've seen me. But then I ran to save Shisui. They must've got off-track or something and after our fight, Shisui must've decided to stand on the dock like I was previously. The ANBU reported a gash to his head and if the murderer did do enough damage there it would've knocked Shisui out for sure.

But, if the murderer did see it was Shisui by then, they couldn't just let him stay there. Dumping him into the lake was perhaps the easiest thing to do then.

I heard Jiro say my name and I came out from my thoughts, "Hmm?"

"I said," Jiro folded his arms, "If you know of anybody who might hate you."

"My dad?"

"No. I mean _really_ hate you."

I pondered for a moment. "No one comes to mind…" I said after a while.

"Oh…" Jiro walked over to me. "What about my sister?"

"Your sister?" I tried to remember her name, "Reiko?"

"Yeah. She's crazy enough to murder someone."

I mentally smiled at that. I suddenly remembered why she would hate me. I decided to go find her.

"Thank you for talking with me." I bowed my head and headed back toward the building where Shisui's funeral was still being held.

I stared through the crowd. It seemed more people had shown up… It took awhile, but I eventually saw the scarred face of Reiko's. I could recognize her by a fairly large cut that went from her right eye down to her neck. A kunai wound.

I nonchalantly walked over to her. "Reiko."

She blinked and stared at me expressionlessly. "What do you want?"

"I just wanted to ask you a question."

"… What?" She looked really annoyed.

"Have you ever murdered anybody?"

"Go away." She hissed.

"I just want a yes or no…" I played with her emotions.

"I don't have to answer to the likes of you." She made a finger gesture to me.

"How rude. It's not like I accused you of, say, killing Shisui." I rolled my eyes to promote a joke, but Reiko became enraged.

"You!" She forced back her voice. "You know..."

"If only Shisui could've fought them off…" I made my face grave.

I didn't really know what happened then. I wasn't paying real attention to Reiko. Big mistake. I got a nice punch to the face.

I fell over and slid a few feet down the room. As the blood started pumping in my cheek I held my hand to my face.

"Ow? ..." I muttered.

I could feel everyone staring at me. The room was now in a hushed silence.

I heard Sasuke run up to me, "Aniki! Are you okay?"

I nodded and stood up slowly to look around. Past the worried glances of the people in the room, Reiko was nowhere to be seen. I sighed and pretended to go sulk in the bathroom for the rest of the day.

That night, I went back down to the lake. I don't know why, but somehow that boring body of water kept pulling me in.

I stopped when I came to the edge of the trees. Someone was on the dock. I wondered if _everyone_ loved standing on that thing.

The person on the dock turned slowly and seemed to glance right at me. I gasped as I recognized the face of Shisui.

I ran out from the trees and was about to yell his name when Shisui disappeared into thin air. A ghost? Or a genjutsu? I stopped in my tracks and did a 360 degree turn and betted on the worst.

I heard laughter coming from the dock and I looked over my shoulder to see a much younger Shisui waving at me.

" 'Tachi-kun! 'Tachi-kun!"

That was Shisui's old nickname for me… When we had first met. He was ten then and I was five. He treated me like a little brother, but I didn't care. At least he filled in a gap. Sasuke was still a baby then, or wasn't born yet. I don't remember.

"Watch me skip this rock twenty times!" The younger Shisui laughed and held up a flat, gray rock in his hand.

"You can't skip a rock that much." I said automatically – the exact words I used all those years ago.

"Oh yeah?" Shisui said as if I was there, "I'll prove it!" He threw the rock and it bounced off the surface of the lake without making a ripple. That was probably to prove this was all a dream.

Still, I counted. Yep. It was still only nineteen times like before.

"Ah, man! I was able to do it this morning…!" Shisui pouted and I laughed quietly. Whatever hallucination I was going through, at least it was amusing. I closed my eyes and tried thinking of another memory, but I found my mind blocked. Frustrated, I reopened my eyes and was surprised to see a slightly older Shisui standing there.

"Hey Itachi. You're a Jonin now!" Shisui had dropped my nickname after we became better friends. This must've been two or three years ago.

Shisui smiled, "Let's celebrate by burning down your house."

Of course we never did. I couldn't remember why though. It seemed like a fun idea at the time. But that idea wasn't as bad as trying to find out if my father was a vampire. We used to make so many jokes about _that_ subject.

Shisui disappeared suddenly, but I didn't care. I felt at ease; As if Shisui was trying to calm me after finding him dead. Sure, he'd always had crazy ideas, but he wasn't stupid enough to ever try them. They were just common conversation starters for him. I thought back to other memories. They were all in one part of my life. I met him when I was five and now I was thirteen.

Eight years huh… I thought it was longer than that.

As if on cue, my eyes suddenly shot open – I didn't even realized they were closed – and I was greeted with sunlight. I could've sworn I reached the lake just at sunset. When did I fall asleep?

"You were here all night?"

My father's voice jerked me fully awake. I turned to him and nodded.

"Have any… Regrets?" He asked quietly.

"… About what?"

"Shisui."

I sat there a while before answering, "I _did_ want to ask him a question."

"…" My father's face was impassive.

I became annoyed when he didn't say anything. "What?"

"Nothing. I was just… Thinking." His eyes grew dark and he brought out a scroll. Without saying a word, he handed it to me and left.

Curious, I opened the scroll to read its contents:

_Itachi_

_I know losing Shisui was hard for you. But…I still want you to know something. Very few, and I mean very few, shinobi can contact the spirits of the dead. Before you throw this away without thought, please read what I have to say._

_Most of that few contacts were of Uchiha blood. It might be our eyes, or perhaps something else, but we can see such things more clearly._

_I'm telling you this because I saw you last night staring at the lake with a fog rolling in. I'm sure you don't remember the fog, but that's an old sign that a spirit's near. I stayed back and watched you speaking with it. I'm assuming it was Shisui._

_If it was, keep reading._

_Most people report seeing their most treasured memories of their dead comrade, and seeing them as if they were right there. Others have reported being able to contact the spirits at anytime, anywhere. But I do hope your relationship isn't one about being possessed. That has happened in the past and it only leads to insanity. (But why would Shisui do that to you?)_

_If you want to talk to someone about this, your best bet is with Kakashi Hatake. He's told me about his experiences._

The scroll wasn't signed, and it gave me the chills. It wasn't just a dream. I rolled the scroll up and put it in my pocket. Thus, my search for Kakashi began.

I don't think many people realize how hard it is to find Kakashi. He doesn't show up unless he wants to, and if he does, he's always late.

Eventually though, I did find him. And he was willing to hear my story.

At his house, I relaxed as I waited for him to finish his call from a friend. I sighed quietly and stared at Kakashi's back. Whoever this 'Gai' person was, he was very loud. I could hear everything he was saying, and none of it made sense to me. Finally, Kakashi gave up and hung up the phone to converse with me.

I started at the beginning. Telling him a few things of our childhood together, then a few years past that until Shisui's death. However, when I told him about my vision was when he seemed the most interested.

"It sounds a lot like a friendly gesture." Kakashi decided when I had finished.

I blinked, "Why do you say that?"

"Well, in your case, you seemed to be confused and messed up by his death. Shisui must've felt that you needed some consoling and contacted you. That, and I think he wanted you to remember him as the cheerful guy he used to be, not the suicidal guy he became. Then again, you could just be losing your mind."

I took this into account and bowed my head, "It sounds like you've made contact a lot."

Kakashi nodded, "All of my old friends and family have visited me at least once. My connecting is very strong. Sometimes they visit me while I dream too." Kakashi sounded content with that and I let the conversation drop.

"I think I should go now." I said, suddenly uncomfortable.

Kakashi just nodded and walked me to the door. It was then he mentioned that he also had the Sharingan, but only in one eye. As I left, I asked how he had gotten it, but he kept it a secret.

A week later, I hadn't seen anything regarding spirits and Shisui. I kept getting this nagging feeling of being watched though, and it made me paranoid. I stared at my clock; it was only 1 AM?

Sighing, I pulled myself up to a seated position and rubbed my face. I slightly moaned to lack of sleep I've been having. Glancing at my katana, I decided to take it outside to practice with. Just to pass the time.

About an hour into my practice, I finally felt tired enough to get some sleep. I yawned and headed to my house when I was suddenly knocked to the ground. Gasping with surprise and fatigued with sleeplessness, I couldn't find my way to my feet. However, I got to my knees and I stared at the ground as I tried to gain my senses back.

Suddenly, I felt a searing pain go though my back and I cried out as I felt a blade force itself through my flesh. I heard laughter behind me and I turned my head just enough to see Reiko.

"Reiko…? Why are you-"

I was cut off when she twisted the blade and disrupted my train of thought with pain.

"Because I detest you Itachi and everything you've done." Reiko said with malice.

I shook my head, "I don't understand. That wound was an accident."

Reiko paused, "You mean the scratch you gave me? I don't care about that." She pulled the sword out, "What I do care about is how you used Shisui!"

She tried to stab me again, but I moved out of the way in time. I grabbed for my katana, but I was surprised to find that she was already using it.

Instead, I sucked in a breath and held my hand to my wound, "I don't know what you mean."

"You used Shisui to become ANBU." Reiko replied.

I shook my head, "No. I didn't…"

"Yes you did. Shisui took pity on you and let you in. Then you gave out a mission that killed Shisui's parents. You killed them and placed Shisui in such sorrow!" She swung the katana at me and I narrowly dodged it.

I narrowed my eyes, "He didn't take pity… He wanted… Us to be at the same rank."

Reiko didn't seem impressed, "What about that mission then?"

"We had no idea rouge ninja would attack."

"Lies!" Reiko swung at me again, and a scream filled the night before the blood was shed.

The ANBU came that morning to retrieve Reiko. She was in a bad condition by our fight, but I felt no remorse. Only guilt and pity locked inside. I had known Reiko had hated me for some time. And I had known that she had had feelings for Shisui.

When I visited her later that day in the hospital, she glared at me and whispered. "You killed him."

Only three words, but it jolted my mind into action.

It was all very sudden, but I had the vision of it clear in my mind. Of Shisui standing on the dock and me feeling so enraged that I bashed Shisui over his head so hard he didn't know what had hit him. It was all a blur, but I rapidly remembered that I had been the one that had tied him up and had thrown him into his watery grave. It wasn't Reiko that killed Shisui after all. I ran out of the hospital in a daze.

A week later, I found myself standing on the dock and overlooking the surface of what was Shisui's watery grave. I was suddenly overcome with emotions and I fell to my knees and cried for the first time in years.

"I'm so sorry Shisui… I'm a murderer… Your murderer…"

And strangely, I found myself a few moments later content by that.

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**See the kind of dreams I have?**

**Reviews are very much appreciated.**


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